Disordered Eating: Hungry for Love

When hunger isn't about food

If your cravings aren’t satisfied by food, then your struggle might not be about eating at all. But it can be difficult to figure out what’s behind your longings.

Today’s episode, the next in our ongoing series, Dealing with Your Addictions, tackles a topic that you may struggle with quietly: your complicated relationship with food. Lynn sits down with counselor Kelsey Crandall, from The Current, a Columbia, MO-based clinic specializing in helping clients heal from disordered eating.

You’ll hear about these key ideas:

• The ways that food issues are tied to emotional, relational, and spiritual pain

• Why disordered eating can look ‘normal’ from the outside

• How shame and silence may keep you stuck

• The 5 C’s that explain why ‘food is more than food’

• Therapeutic, faith-based interventions that pave the way for healing

You’ll want to listen in as Kelsey brings a warm, grounded perspective on what’s really going on beneath the surface of eating disorders—and why you may feel stuck in patterns you can’t simply ‘willpower’ your way out of.

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Highlights of Lynn & Kelsey’s Conversation

Lynn: This is going to be a very insightful and informative episode today as I welcome our special guest. Kelsey, thank you for being with us today! Can you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Kelsey: Thank you so much for having me! I’m a therapist at The Current Therapy Services, and I genuinely love the work I get to do and the clients I get to serve. I work with an incredible group of clinicians. Their support and wisdom make such a difference in the work I do.

I grew up in southwest Missouri, and after college my husband and I bounced around a bit before eventually coming back about four years ago so I could finish my counseling degree. Now my husband and I and our four kids—almost 10, 8, and 5—call Columbia home.

I’ve always been drawn to people’s stories. I originally studied education, but I became deeply involved in my campus ministry and ended up doing that vocationally for about a decade. I learned so much, but I never quite felt like it was the right long-term fit. I wanted to go deeper with people than I was equipped to.

That clarity really came during a season of my own suffering—specifically postpartum anxiety and OCD during the COVID lockdown. It became impossible to ignore the need and the sense of calling I felt. So I went to seminary for my counseling degree, my husband finished his theology degree, and after a few twists and turns, here we are.

Kelsey Crandall, MA, PLPC

Lynn: We’re going to start by defining some terms because I think the topic of food and eating and overall health can be a gray area. We can’t live without food, so it’s a tricky substance to regulate or restrict. Kelsey, how would you define disordered eating?

Kelsey: Disordered eating is a broad term that refers to a wide range of irregular, unhealthy, or distressing eating behaviors that do not necessarily meet the full diagnostic criteria for a clinical eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge-eating disorder.

It exists on a spectrum: from mild, occasional problematic patterns to severe behaviors that are just one or two criteria short of a formal diagnosis. It includes abnormal or disturbed patterns of eating or food-related behavior, significant distress, guilt, anxiety, and preoccupation with food, weight, or body shape.

9% of the US population, or 30 million Americans, will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. The overall lifetime prevalence of eating disorders is estimated to be 8.60% among females and 4.07% among males. Eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness behind opiate addiction.

Lynn: Can you explain the mortality aspect to disordered eating?

Kelsey: Disordered eating can cause dangerous side effects from purging (like electrolyte imbalances); damage to the body from being underweight; and thoughts and behaviors of suicidality or self-harm. The most common diagnosis is atypical anorexia; internal anorexia, not external. Patients don’t look emaciated; this condition is happening internally. This creates barriers to receiving care and makes it hard for the patient to see that they need treatment.

Common examples of disordered eating include:

• Chronic restrict/binge cycling: Repeatedly restricting food -> intense cravings -> overeating or bingeing -> guilt -> restrict again

• Orthorexia: Obsessive focus on ‘clean’, ‘healthy’, or ‘pure’ eating that impairs health

• Frequent ‘cheat days’ that spiral into multi-day binges

• Skipping meals or undereating to ‘save calories’ for later drinking or bingeing

• Checking weight or body measurements multiple times a day

• Using laxatives, diet pills, or fasting in a non-clinical way

• Extreme fear of certain foods

Lynn: Can you describe a typical client you work with and the issues they present with?

Kelsey: I mostly see young to middle adult women but I’m also starting to see perinatal clients (during and after pregnancy) who are dealing with mood and anxiety disorders, especially if they have a history of disordered eating. People seek help when their eating disorder is getting in the way of their marriage, friendships, or career.

Lynn: What are the underlying issues? How often are depression or other mood disorders connected with a distorted view of the body or food?

Kelsey: Eating issues show up a lot like undiagnosed mood disorders. There’s usually a mix of things underneath: past trauma, neurodivergence, or a sensitive temperament that’s been shaped by feeling misunderstood or invalidated. The way you deal with food often reflects how you cope in other parts of life.

Lynn: What strategies do you see people turn to in order to manage disordered eating?

Kelsey: People choose to ‘diet’ and find ways to externalize behavior from their internal cues. “If I can just stick to this diet, I’ll be fine,” is a common thought. They create rules around food. Compulsive exercise is common. “I’ll let myself have dessert. But tomorrow I have to run an extra mile.”

Lynn: How do you begin treatment? What are your goals?

Kelsey: First, we establish baseline medical safety and get a comprehensive picture of a client’s holistic wellbeing. We decide if a higher level of care is needed—if their condition is medically compromising, they may need inpatient treatment.

After that, we help clients identify their goals and develop skills that can help them navigate their daily lives and relationships in ways that align with those goals. Seeing them flourish as a whole person is the ultimate goal!

Lynn: What is a biblical view of food, and why does the church often miss the real grip that eating disorders have on a person?

Kelsey: Food is a gift from God! It’s a way we nourish ourselves and feel connected to a community. It’s something to view with gratitude, not fear. Unfortunately, eating disorders often get mislabeled as being about willpower, self-control, or vanity. The church is more comfortable with visible struggles, and also, church leaders are usually not trained in eating or mood disorders.

Lynn: Clearly more work is needed for there to be understanding within the church. With that in mind, let’s shift gears and share the 5 C’s of disordered eating.

The 5 C’s Framework – Why Food Becomes More Than Food

• Control: When life feels chaotic, the body becomes one thing you can dominate. “If I can just control food and weight, I can feel safe”. Focus is on hyper self-control vs. surrender to God.

• Comfort: Emotional eating and bingeing can be self-soothing. Numb the pain, fill the emptiness, reward/deprive cycle. Food can be a comforting companion. That’s why we call it ‘comfort food’.

• Coping: Purging, restriction, or over-exercise as a release valve when feeling emotionally overwhelmed, feeling emotionally empty, or yearning for love. These behaviors form pathways of escaping painful realities and take their toll on your body.

• Connecting: “If I’m thin enough, I’ll finally be worthy of love and connection”. Or “I don’t feel loved, so I punish my body by overeating or undereating”. Driven by attachment wounds, fear of abandonment, and performance-based acceptance.

• Culture: Diet culture + ‘clean eating’. Obsession about health in general. Social media shows us false images. Our culture glorifies thinness and equates that with beauty or worthiness. The subtle message: Your value is tied to your appearance.

Lynn: Those are so helpful. Kelsey, let’s talk about therapeutic approaches that actually help, and ways to integrate faith with evidence-based care.

Kelsey: There are lots of therapeutic and faith-based approaches that are successful. Here are ones we frequently use:

• IFS (Internal Family Systems): There are ‘no bad parts’ of you. You can learn to befriend the ‘protector’ parts of yourself that use food to keep you safe and welcome the presence of Jesus into exiled, ashamed parts.

• DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy): Emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness without judgment. You learn to walk the tension of fully accepting yourself today while still pursuing healing.

• RO-DBT (Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy): This version of DBT includes being ‘radically open’. Radical openness is characterized by humility and willingness to recognize our biases about ourselves, others, and the world and consider what new learning can occur if we are open and honest.

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) & Trauma Therapy: Most eating disorders have roots in adverse experiences; if you can reprocess traumatic memories, food stops being the coping tool.

• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): Diffusion from thoughts like “I am fat” to “I’m having the thought that I’m fat”. Moving toward values-based living instead of weight-based living.

• Intuitive Eating + HAES (Health at Every Size): Rejecting diet culture, re-learning body cues, and stewarding your body as a temple without worshiping it.

• Spiritual Direction & Inner Healing Prayer: Renouncing lies about identity and beauty. Dealing with self-contempt, self-loathing, and shame that is connected with disordered eating and self-perception. Receiving the Heavenly Father’s delight in you.

Lynn: Can you share some practical next steps, as well as hope for our listeners?

Kelsey: If you’ve ever wondered whether you have an eating disorder, look for these red flags when it comes to your eating habits and health:

• Skipping meals or having very rigid food rules

• Feeling guilty or anxious about eating

• Constant dieting or obsessing over calories/weight

• Eating in secret or avoiding meals with others

• Exercising excessively or feeling panicked if you can’t

• Noticeable changes in weight, energy, or mood

If any of these resonate with you, find a certified eating-disorder therapist (EDRD, CEDS), who can look beneath the physical aspect and develop a customized treatment plan to help you process trauma, heal childhood wounds, and regulate your moods.

Lynn: Such good information! Your body is not the enemy; food is not the enemy. Your body is beautifully and wonderfully made, and you should nurture and care for it, treat your body with kindness, and work towards a healthy relationship with food as God’s sustaining gift to you. Thank you for joining us, Kelsey!

Kelsey: Thank you so much for having me!