The Hidden Damage of Living by Lies
Words matter more than you think
Words can heal a relationship, destroy a reputation, calm a fearful heart, or leave a scar that lasts for years. At times, lying might seem like a not-so-harmful sin (“little white lie”) but there’s a reason that truth matters so much to God—and why the Bible treats careless speech with such seriousness.
In this episode, Lynn and John continue our ongoing series, 10 Keys to the Universe, by exploring the ninth commandment: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” Drawing from passages like James 3, Matthew 12, and Proverbs 18, they discuss how words can bring either life or destruction. They explain the connection between truth and God’s character, showing how honest speech reflects the God who cannot lie.
The conversation gets practical as they walk through specific ways falsehood damages relationships and communities. From slander and gossip to flattery, half-truths, broken promises, and false assurances, Lynn and John examine how easily dishonesty can disguise itself in everyday life.
They also offer steps for slowing down before speaking, developing discernment in a culture full of deception, and recognizing the lasting impact that words have on others. Most importantly, they point listeners back to the hope of the gospel: Jesus perfectly fulfilled what we never could and invites us to live in the freedom of his truth.
Highlights from this Episode
We’re going through the Ten Commandments and calling them 10 Keys to the Universe, because there’s a lot of life and goodness to be had from the commands. Going through these commands can feel daunting, overwhelming, even crushing. The deeper we get into them, the more we realize we don’t live up to them. But Jesus lived up to them perfectly, and the beauty of the gospel is that he says, “I’ll give you my resume as if you performed all of these things perfectly.”
Most people hear the word “command” and immediately think something negative. There is a negative side to them because we do things that hurt us, and God is saying, “No, stop hurting yourself.” But there’s also a positive side. Today we’re tackling the ninth commandment, which is about telling the truth and not lying. Tim Keller said, “God creates things with words.” So this command is all about words.
God says, “Let there be light,” and there’s light. “Let there be vegetation,” and there’s vegetation. But he couldn’t just snap his fingers and say, “Let there be forgiveness.” He worked through centuries of redemptive history to bring about forgiveness through Jesus because he wanted to be with us. God didn’t look at humanity and say, “You’ve dropped the ball. You’re not good enough for me.” He said, “I’m going to be good enough for you because I want to be with you.”
God didn’t look at humanity and say, “You’ve dropped the ball. You’re not good enough for me.” He said, “I’m going to be good enough for you because I want to be with you.”
All of the other commandments can be broken with words. You can dishonor your parents with words. You can commit adultery with words. You can murder with words. You can steal with words. But when it comes to commandment number nine, it’s different because it’s entirely about words. It pushes us into the world of what the Bible calls ‘the tongue’.
The Power of the Tongue
Let’s start by looking at why our words matter. James 3 gives a detailed description of how destructive our words can be. James says, “The tongue is a fire, the very world of unrighteousness.” Fire burns and defiles the whole body. It “sets on fire the course of our life and is set on fire by hell.” Fire is a symbol of total destruction, and James is saying this is incredibly dangerous.
He continues, “No one among mankind can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.” Then he says, “With it, we bless our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse people who have been made in the likeness of God.” When we use our tongues in ways that hurt people, it’s wrong because of who they are. Human beings are made in the likeness of God. We are image-bearers.
We don’t tell the truth simply because it’s an assignment from God, like homework from an eighth-grade algebra teacher. We don’t tame our tongues merely because it’s good manners or because our parents said, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” The command exists because people are eternally valuable to God. We are not rocks or turtles. If we hurt our neighbor with our words, God connects it to assaulting his own character.
Jesus reinforces this in Matthew 12. “The mouth speaks from that which fills the heart. The good person brings out of his good treasure good things, and the evil person brings out of his evil treasure evil things.” Then comes the sobering part: “I tell you that for every careless word that people speak, they will give an account of it on the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Speaking Life or Destruction
Proverbs 18 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Those passages together show how much importance the Bible places on our words. One of the biggest lies we learned early in life was, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The biblical version sounds more like this: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will ravage, disorient, and permanently scar my soul.”
One of the biggest lies we learned early in life was, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The biblical version sounds more like this: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will ravage, disorient, and permanently scar my soul.”
The actual command says, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” When we bear false witness against someone, we take something away from them that is deeply valuable. At its heart, the ninth commandment is about protecting people: protecting their reputations, their safety, and their standing in the community. Our words are supposed to reflect truth because God’s nature is truth.
When we use our words truthfully, we mirror God’s light, life, and character. Truth is grounded outside of us in a real person: God himself. He loves people and does not want to destroy them with untruthful words. When someone asks, “Who told you that?” the Christian answer is ultimately, “God said so.” God cannot lie. He made the world and ordered it around truth.
Why Truth Matters to God
That raises the question: If God is truth, where did lying come from? The Bible says Satan is the father of lies. Lying is the exact opposite of God’s nature. Jesus’ claims about truth force a decision. You can’t simply say he was a good teacher. Either he was completely wrong, or he really was who he said he was.
With the trends of society and technology, we’re losing our ability to distinguish truth from lies. We’re exposed to misinformation, spin, and curated realities constantly. Sometimes we see a picture online and instantly assume it’s real because our instincts are being trained away from discernment.
Why do we lie in the first place? Often it’s because we fear punishment, shame, or embarrassment. Another reason is overpowering desires. We want to be popular, successful, and admired. In families and organizations, people spin narratives to protect their position and maintain the upper hand. Sometimes we lie simply to get our needs met because we don’t trust God to come through for us if we’re honest.
At some level, all these reasons for lying are about not believing God. We don’t trust that he can be with us, help us, and sustain us if we tell the truth.
At some level, all these reasons for lying are about not believing God. We don’t trust that he can be with us, help us, and sustain us if we tell the truth.
With that in mind, we’d like to share different ways of lying that you may not have considered.
The Many Faces of Falsehood
Perjury
Perjury is the courtroom application of the ninth commandment. It’s testifying falsely under oath. This is especially serious because you are invoking God’s name as the guarantor of your truthfulness. So when you swear falsely by God, you’re also taking his name in vain, connecting the ninth commandment directly to the third.
When someone says, “So help me God,” and then lies, they are using God as a prop for deception. They are attaching God’s authority to falsehood. Truthfulness matters profoundly wherever justice and testimony are involved.
Slander
Leviticus 19:16 says, “You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people.” Slander means making false or misleading statements about someone that damage their reputation. God says this matters because it hurts people made in his image.
This isn’t just a social mistake or rude behavior. It’s a moral requirement rooted in loving your neighbor. If you make false statements that cause someone to lose their job, marriage, reputation, or standing in the community, you have committed a profound injustice.
Gossip
Gossip is different from legitimately sharing information. The issue is not merely talking about other people. Otherwise, no one could ever report a crime or warn someone about danger. Gossip is the careless, irresponsible circulation of damaging information without proper verification or legitimate purpose.
Gossip often masquerades as concern. “I’m only telling you so you can pray for Brother Jim.” But the real motivation is the social currency from being the insider with the information. Modern slang softens it. “I’ve got some tea” sounds lighter than “Let’s gossip.” But changing the wording doesn’t change the reality. God says gossip damages people.
Flattery
Flattery surprises people because it sounds positive. But flattery is insincere praise used to manipulate someone. It’s a form of false witness because you’re representing someone to themselves as better than they are, or pretending your relationship is warmer than it actually is in order to gain something.
This happens constantly in employer-employee relationships, social settings, and friendships. You exaggerate praise to motivate, influence, or gain favor: “You’re the best at this I’ve ever seen.” No, they’re not. The praise is functioning as manipulation rather than truth. The ninth commandment requires integrity rather than manipulation.
Exaggeration and Half-Truths
You can deceive someone while speaking technically true statements. You omit crucial information, emphasize selected facts, or frame things to create a misleading impression. It’s the lawyer’s trick of constructing a narrative from selected facts and the politician’s art of saying something technically accurate but functionally misleading.
The spirit of the ninth commandment demands more than technical accuracy. It demands the intent to produce true understanding in the listener. Half-truths distort reality even if individual pieces are factually correct.
False Assurance
Jeremiah condemns false prophets who say, “Peace, peace,” when there is no peace. False assurance happens when someone avoids difficult truth for the sake of comfort or convenience. It’s the doctor who says, “Everything’s going to be fine,” simply to avoid a hard conversation. It’s the friend who tells someone they’re doing spiritually great when they’re actually in danger.
The ninth commandment means we are obligated not only to avoid falsehood but also to speak necessary truth, even when it costs us. That does not mean dropping “truth bombs” on people carelessly. Truth without love becomes cruelty.
Broken Promises
The commandment also includes vows and commitments. Words about the future matter. Marriage vows are a powerful example. Saying “I do” shapes an entire life because promises create expectations about future faithfulness.
When you break promises carelessly or deceptively, you’ve lied about the future. Keeping your word, even when it costs you, is an expression of the integrity required by the ninth commandment. We all want to live in a world where people speak truthfully and can be trusted.
The Healing Power of Words
The positive side of this commandment is truthful testimony and sincere communication. We interpret people charitably and honestly. Ephesians 4 tells us to “speak the truth in love.” Truth and love belong together. It’s not permission to unload harsh criticism onto people.
People misuse “speak the truth in love” as an excuse to say harsh things however they want because they think, “I’m just telling the truth.” But biblical truth-telling is shaped by humility, love, timing, and care for the other person.
Sometimes you do need to say something hard. Other times, you need to notice the good in people and praise them sincerely. Proper praise builds people up instead of manipulating them, and reflects God’s character.
We have three practical takeaways to consider:
Audit your words before they leave your mouth.
Pausing is good. It’s okay to tell someone, “Let me think about that.” We often feel pressured to respond immediately, but wisdom slows down. Thoughtful pauses prevent tremendous damage.
Develop the ability to tell truth from lies.
We live in a culture working overtime to blur the lines between truth and falsehood. We need to stay anchored in God’s Word and rely on the Holy Spirit, who guides us into all truth. We need discernment to navigate a world full of deception.
Take seriously what you say about other people.
Your words have weight. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Your words shape how you see the world, how you see yourself, and how others are treated. They affect opportunities, relationships, reputations, and even the condition of the soul.
Self-talk matters too. Speaking lies about ourselves can create incredible soul tears and damage. Dallas Willard famously began his mornings by saying, “There is no condemnation for me because I am in Christ Jesus. I am his beloved son.” Truthful words directed toward ourselves matter deeply.
If those kinds of truthful, grace-filled words are shaping your own soul, that’s what will eventually overflow onto other people. You’ll become someone who can speak life instead of death because your speech is being formed by the God who is truth.
Recommended Resource
The Doctrine of the Christian Life by John Frame