"I Was Lying to Myself" with Scotty Cox

How can the bonds of addiction be broken?

Listen now: “I Was Lying to Myself” - an interview with Scotty Cox

From time to time, we take a break in between our longer series to talk with real people about overcoming the challenges and trials of life. In this “Stories in the Weeds” episode, John and Shay interview Scotty Cox as he shares how his successful radio career was threatened when alcohol took over his life.

Despite having earned prestigious trophies from the Academy of Country Music and being on an award-winning broadcasting team, Scotty's life was on hold until he finally faced the painful reality that he needed help to stop drinking. 

The grip of addiction is not easily broken, but through community, honesty and humility, Scotty has learned that working hard at sobriety is his most rewarding accomplishment.

Scotty’s Story

“I didn’t grow up around alcohol. I was raised in a strict Baptist home, never saw my parents drink or anyone in my extended family for that matter. It must have been sometime in high school when I was partying with friends that I remember the first time I took a drink. And it wasn’t just a little bit of alcohol. It was a lot.

Being in the country music industry, socializing revolves around drinking, so it became the way I relaxed and connected with people after a long day of work. But after my divorce, everything became centered around my drinking. I realized I could drink at home by myself and that’s what I looked forward to. 

But it never hit me that I had a drinking problem.

To this day, it’s hard for me to pinpoint what the core reason was for my drinking. I think I was depressed; I felt a feeling of failure because my marriage had failed. I know I had pride that I was in control of my life, but that was mixed with feelings of shame because I knew things were out of control.

With that mixture of emotions, the only time I felt better was after a drink. Drinking alcohol is kind of like a big hug, suddenly you don’t feel so alone. It’s comforting.

But I was a very functional alcoholic. I could drink a bottle of whiskey at night, then wake up early the next morning and get to work on time, and I was honestly doing great at work. I was very successful, winning awards, I was at the top of my career. 

My alcoholism was progressive. I kept saying to myself, “I’m not hurting anybody”, meanwhile I was gaining weight and feeling physically sick. I was getting sick every day, and that just became normal.

Eventually I missed work for the first time ever. And my job was so important to me, that it finally struck me that my job could be in jeopardy. I was putting my life and my career on the line all for a drink. And people who cared about me were approaching me in a loving way saying “We’re here for you. We want you to get help.”

That was a scary time because I thought, “How will my life continue if I leave to go get help?” I was also terrified to tell my mom, I didn’t want to face her and let her know about this problem because she didn’t know anything about it. I had successfully hidden it from her, and if I went to treatment, I wouldn’t be able to hide my problem anymore.

I also didn’t know how bills would get paid, and how things would get done if I left for a while. But eventually I developed a support team. A team of people who could help me handle all the daily tasks that would be set aside when I went to treatment. Shay was on my support team, and I know I couldn’t have done it without his help and many others who stepped up when I needed them most, including my mom.

Going to treatment helped me realize all the lies I had been telling myself. I was sitting in a room of people who were being so honest, so brutally honest, that I realized that everyone there could see through my lies too. 

Alcohol creates cognitive distortions and rationalizations. You believe lies. You believe you’re in control when you’re not. But what I learned through treatment and 10 plus years of sobriety is that when you’re honest, there’s hope. When you’re humble, there’s help. And you can’t do it alone, you need a community of people around you.

As hard as this journey is, I can honestly say that I am grateful for my addiction. I would go through it again because of what I got out of it. So many life lessons, so many changes in the quality of my relationships. If you’re someone who sees that alcohol is getting the best of you, there’s hope. I would encourage you to take the mask off and stop lying to yourself. There is hope.”

You can hear Scotty each weekday morning with his friend Liz on “Liz & Scotty in the Morning” on Today’s Best Country Clear 99, in Columbia, MO.