Making Marriage Work - Series 11

Anyone can get married, but how do you STAY married?

We titled our last series, Making Marriage Work, because that those words imply effort and intentionality - it indicates that marriage doesn’t just work on its own if left unattended. There are some key ingredients that you need if your marriage is going to survive the ups and downs of life, the disappointments, the stresses and the hardships.

We cover topics like how to know who to marry, the realities of marriage, communication issues, trust, boundaries, conflict triggers, divorce predictors, and more. Anyone can “get married”, but the bigger, more important question is, how do you STAY married?

Who Should I Marry?

Deciding who to marry is one of the most important decisions you can ever make. We want you to go into marriage with your eyes wide open!

In this episode, Austin and Lynn explain:

• the purpose of dating

• 3 phases of the dating relationship

• what to look for in a potential spouse

• red flags to be aware of as you consider whether or not to marry someone

Bonus: Lynn shares the best dating advice she ever received, and it may completely change the way you see your dating relationship!

Living in the Reality of Marriage

Do you believe that all of your needs, longings and desires will be met when you get married? What might happen when your marriage falls short of your expectations?

In this episode, John and Lynn discuss what it means to live in the reality of marriage, which means:

• that you will not have all of your expectations met

• you will not get your way all the time

• you will have a certain measure of incompleteness in your marriage

How Do I REALLY Talk with My Spouse?

When you’re hungry and ordering a hamburger at the drive thru, do you expect to have a deep, personal conversation with the person at the window? Probably not. More likely, you’re hoping to find that deeper emotional connection in your marriage with your spouse. But that can be harder to do than you think!

In this episode, John and Austin explain:

• how communication in marriage ranges from very shallow to very deep.

• why most couples stay in the shallow end

• how to establish a bond that allows you to believe the best about each other

When Two Histories Collide

Have you ever considered that the recent argument you had with your spouse began long before you ever got married – as early as childhood? Even if you grew up in the happiest of families, no one has perfect parents. Which means that not all of your needs for love, affection, affirmation and security were met.

In adulthood, the coping mechanisms we used to guard against pain in childhood become ‘Love Styles’; that is, a way to give and receive love in relationships, especially marriage. In this episode of our ongoing series, Making Marriage Work, Lynn and Shay sit down to discuss:

• how and why we develop Love Styles

• the Conflict Patterns that result when our Love Styles clash

• how to understand your Love Style and resolve conflict peacefully

They both wish they had known this when they got married 27 ½ years ago!

Boundaries: The Key to Trust: Listen or Read

Boundaries are foundational to making marriage work, but they’re often associated with being mean or unloving. This conversation with John and Lynn highlights:

• why you need boundaries in marriage

• the connection between boundaries and trust

• diagnosing growth points in yourself and your partner

• protecting the marriage covenant by becoming worthy of your spouse’s trust

How Kids Can Build Up and Break Down Your Marriage

Kids might be the best, and worst, thing for a marriage! On the one hand, they’re a “blessing from the Lord” (Ps. 127:3) and Jesus himself said “let the little children come to me” (Mt. 19:14). But on the other hand, they’re loud, messy, needy, don’t listen, and can (unintentionally) create barriers between spouses. 

In this episode, Austin and Shay discuss:

• how their kids have helped build up their own marriages

• four ways that kids can break down marriage

• practical steps you can take to build your marriage during the child-raising years

4 Habits of a Healthy Marriage

Do you know which habits will make the most positive and lasting impact on your marriage? Although ideas about what makes marriage work change from one generation to another, there are evidence-based habits that characterize a healthy marriage.

In this episode, Shay and Lynn explore:

• 4 toxic behaviors that erode your relationship

• 4 healthy habits you’ll want to practice instead

Let’s Talk About Sex

Talking about sex can sometimes feel difficult and awkward. But if you want to make your marriage work, you’re going to have to address your sex life. Our hope is that this episode will leave you feeling normalized, encouraged, and hopefully willing to address the topic of sex in your marriage wherever and however you need to. Listen in as Austin and his wife Polly discuss:

• things you need to know about sex

• wrong messages the world tells you about sex

• specific takeaways for husbands, wives, and couples in general

BONUS EPISODE! The Sex Talk You Never Got - with Sam Jolman

Did you ever get “the talk?” Do you remember feeling encouraged and hopeful, or were you left feeling awkward, ashamed, confused and with more questions than answers? 

In this transparent conversation, Austin and John explore these topics with Sam Jolman, author of The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality. Sam lays out a captivating and beautiful view of sex and sexuality (especially for men) that we think will leave both men and women encouraged, equipped, and curious - all of which is needed to understand sex the way God intended it to be.

The Road to Divorce Part 1

Divorce has become all too common in our culture. Do you know what signs to look for that you might be on the road to divorce? We’d like to help you evaluate signs and symptoms that indicate your marriage is in trouble.

In this episode, John, Lynn, and Austin discuss:

• what the Bible has to say about divorce

• 4 patterns that let you know you might be on the road to divorce

• the tangible and harmful impact that divorce can have

The Road Away from Divorce Part 2

Are you concerned that you’re on the road to divorce? Maybe you and your spouse have fallen into unhealthy, frustrating, and toxic patterns that leave you wondering if your marriage can work. Now what? 

In this episode, Lynn, John, and Austin discuss how to get back on the road to a healthy happy relationship, specifically:

• 5 things you can do on your own

• 4 things you can do as a couple

Single and Dating Again

When relationships don’t work, there is often a sense of loss and heartache. Being single and longing for connection may mean you’re willing to compromise your standards in order to deal with loneliness or fulfill your need for intimacy.

In this last episode of our series, John and Shay sit down to discuss:

• their own personal stories of painful breakups

• how long it takes to heal when things don’t work out

• 4 steps to healing from divorce

• how to know you’re ready to date again

• areas of compatibility that are important as you look for a spouse